Would You Rather? – Coping Skills Edition – Explore Calming Strategies That Work!

Use Them as Discussion Cards

Pick a card and ask children which they would rather choose and why.

The simple two-choice format can open up conversations about coping without putting children on the spot or asking them to disclose how they're feeling.

Try questions such as:

• Which would you rather try?
• Why does that one appeal to you?
• When might it be helpful?
• Have you tried either before?
• Would everyone choose the same?
• Could your answer change depending on how you were feeling?
• Is there another strategy you'd choose instead?

Use just one or two cards as a quick conversation starter, or explore several during a dedicated coping skills or emotional regulation session.

Use Them In the Moment

This is where the cards can become really useful.

When a child is feeling worried, frustrated, overwhelmed, restless or dysregulated, choosing what to do can be difficult.

Rather than asking “What do you need?” or offering a long list of strategies, give them a card with two simple options:

Which would you rather try?

They only need to make one small choice.

Let them pick a card at random, offer a few cards you think might be appropriate, or spread several out and let the child choose.

Once they've chosen, try the strategy together.

Over time, children can become more familiar with the different options and build up a bigger repertoire of things they know they can try when they need them.

Create a Personal Coping Skills Collection

As you work through the cards, sort them into piles such as:

I'd try this!
Maybe...
Not for me!

Or ask children to collect their favourite choices from each card.

This can help identify patterns. Does the child regularly choose movement? Do they prefer quiet and grounding? Are they drawn to distraction, sensory activities or talking to someone?

Use their favourites to create a personalised list or coping toolbox they can refer back to.

Try the Choices for Real

Pick a card and actually test the strategies.

Try option one, then option two. Afterwards ask:

Which worked better for you?

Children might be surprised by something they didn't expect to enjoy, and it helps move coping skills from abstract ideas into strategies they've actually experienced.

Use Them as a Session Starter

Choose one card at the beginning of an ELSA, nurture, counselling or pastoral session.

It's a quick, playful way to settle into the session and can naturally lead into conversations about emotions, coping and individual preferences.

Create a Coping Skills Pick-Me-Up Station

Keep the cards somewhere children can access them when they need a little help regulating.

A child could:

Pick a card → choose one of the two strategies → give it a try.

This could work brilliantly in a calm corner, regulation station, nurture room, pastoral space or ELSA area.

Get Children Moving

Turn the cards into a whole-class movement activity.

Read both choices aloud and designate one side of the room for each answer. Children move to the side representing the strategy they'd rather choose.

Look around. Did everyone choose the same?

It's an easy visual demonstration that different things work for different people.

Pick a Coping Skill of the Day

Choose a card and let the class vote for one of the two strategies.

Try the winning strategy together as a brain break, transition activity or calming moment, gradually introducing children to lots of different techniques.

Use Them One-to-One

The cards are particularly useful for children who find direct questions about feelings difficult.

Instead of:

“What helps you when you're overwhelmed?”

you can start with:

“Which of these two would you rather try?”

The choice gives the conversation somewhere concrete to begin.

Build Them Into Emotional Regulation Work

Use the cards alongside work on recognising emotions and body signals.

For example:

How might your body tell you that you need a coping strategy?
Would you choose the same strategy for anger and worry?
What might help when you have lots of energy?
What might help when your thoughts won't slow down?

This helps children move beyond simply knowing coping strategies to thinking about when and why they might use them.

Use Them Again and Again

The cards don't need to be worked through once and finished.

A child's choices may change depending on their mood, situation, environment and what they need that day.

A strategy they dismiss the first time might become a favourite later.

Keep the pack accessible and let children return to it whenever they need an idea, a conversation starter or simply two options for what to try next.

A Simple Formula

You could even pull this out visually on the product page:

Feeling stuck? → Pick a card → Choose one → Give it a go!

That really sells that these aren't just discussion cards about coping skills. They can become a usable tool children reach for in the actual moments those coping skills are needed.