A gentle, structured worksheet helping children explore the deeper meaning behind unkind behaviour.

Support children to reflect, repair, and grow with a thoughtful, trauma-informed resource designed to help them understand their actions and make positive change.

The Mean Machine a powerful, insightful resource for helping children explore what led to their unkind behaviour, how it affected others, and how they can make more positive decisions in the future. It supports accountability, empathy, and emotional intelligence, providing a structured yet compassionate space for learning and growth, using the metaphor of a machine that turns unkind actions or statements into positive outcomes.

About This Resource

The Mean Machine is a printable worksheet designed to help children explore what led to their behaviour, what they were feeling, and what they might need. It is suitable for use by teachers, pastoral staff, counsellors, social workers, parents, or any adults working therapeutically or supportively with children.

Rather than focussing solely on the behaviour or punishment, this worksheet invites children to reflect on the internal experience that drove their unkindness towards others. It encourages them to explore the situation from multiple angles: their own thoughts and emotions, the impact on others, and possibilities for repair and positive change. This resource also gives professionals insight into what may be happening behind the scenes for the child, allowing professionals to identify potential areas for futher support.

The tone is non-judgmental, warm, and accessible. The aim is not to shame, but to build understanding, accountability, empathy, and self-awareness.

Features

• A child-friendly, accessible reflection worksheet suitable for ages 8–14 (potentially younger depending on ability/support).
• Clear, gentle prompts that guide children through understanding their behaviour.
• Sections exploring thoughts, feelings, triggers, needs, and intentions.
• Repair questions that help children consider apology, restoration, and new choices.
• Self-regulation prompts to help children think about what may help next time.
• Helping professionals gather insight into underlying causes.
• Printable PDF format for easy use across educational and therapeutic settings.
• Works well one-to-one, in small groups, or as part of a wider behaviour or restorative programme.

Benefits

Helps children understand their behaviour

Children often do not fully understand why they behaved in a certain way. This worksheet breaks down the situation so they can identify triggers, emotions, and decisions.

Encourages empathy

By reflecting on how others felt, children develop social awareness and emotional intelligence, essential for preventing repeated unkind behaviour.

Supports emotional literacy

The worksheet builds vocabulary around emotions, needs, and choices, helping children communicate more effectively in future.

Creates space for repair and accountability

Restorative prompts encourage children to take responsibility for their actions without shame, and to consider steps for making things right.

Offers professionals valuable insight

The reflection process helps adults uncover the emotional, social, or environmental factors contributing to the behaviour. This insight can inform support plans, safeguarding processes, or pastoral interventions.

Promotes long-term change

When children understand what led to their behaviour and what they need next time, they are more likely to make positive choices moving forward.

How To Use

1. Create a calm, safe space

Complete the worksheet when the child is regulated and ready to reflect. Children think best when they feel safe, not when they are overwhelmed.

2. Sit alongside the child

Guide them gently through the questions. Avoid leading them; let their answers emerge naturally.

3. Encourage honesty without judgement

Remind them that this is a safe space to explore - not a punishment.

4. Explore feelings and needs together

Be curious, not critical. “What were you needing in that moment?” “What might have helped you?”

5. Support them to think about repair

What could they say or do now? Is an apology needed? What might help rebuild trust?

6. Use their answers as a springboard for support planning

If a child shows signs of distress, fear, overwhelm, or unmet needs, use this information to guide next steps in pastoral or therapeutic support.

Unkind actions rarely appear out of nowhere. They come from emotional dysregulation, insecurity, frustration, sensory overload, misunderstandings, or deeper unmet needs. This worksheet allows the child to explore not only what happened, but what was happening inside them.

It helps them understand the connection between:

• their feelings

• their thoughts

• their choices

• the impact

• their needs

This is emotional intelligence in practice, and it lays the foundation for healthier relationships and behaviour going forward. The more children understand themselves, the better equipped they are to make kinder choices. This is not a punitive worksheet. It is a bridge between behaviour and understanding, designed to promote genuine change.

Help children reflect, repair, and grow with this thoughtful, trauma-informed reflection worksheet. Download now to support emotional learning, restorative conversations, and deeper understanding of behaviour. Perfect for schools, therapists, and families.